You are currently browsing the blogisthenewblog blog archives for March, 2007.
I have kept up on my Friday tradition of googling the word ”drunk” and seeing what I get so here is today’s special:
Wow, Santa is really enjoying his time off this year. I think I see a touch of nad. Yes, just one so it is nad. Just nad. Santa nad. This is so wrong. Where is Rudolph to guide this mess home?
I know this is old news, but I need to reflect on American Idol before I start my weekend of showing houses while trying to hide that fact that I smell like a distillery and am practically still drunk from the night before. The wonky eye always betrays me. Anyhoo, Sanjaya! What is up?
Yo. I’m still here dog. I wish so much that this was Sanjaya givin it up to his homies, but I think it is just him saying to punch 2 to vote for him. Damn. So much better how I first imaginged it. Sanjaya almost had some edge, almost. So close. I love how all these shows and articles are saying “How is Sanjaya still here?” Wouldn’t you love to be him with everyone asking that question. Poor little Sanjaya, I cannot help but think the same thing. Time to go bro.
Warning: I am about to say really horrible things about a really nice person just because I am evil and can’t help myself.
She has no neck people. She is such a great singer, but I desperately want her off the show cause I cringe everytime I see her. That head is just so massive and it sits almost directly on her shoulders. She kind of has an apeish grin to boot. My god I am going to hell, but she looks like an oompa loompa.
There really is no reason for this picture to be included in this post, but I have to feature Simon Cowell at any possible opportunity as per my contract with the devil in the sale of my soul. Doesn’t he look like such a smug bastard there? Hearts for Simon.
Not his looks, but his sound and voice. I love this song.
i love the flaming lips. they’re album ‘yoshimi battles the pink robots’ is beyond rad - i listen to it all the time. pitchfork media was kind enough to inform me (well, not just me, all of it’s readers, i just like to personalize things so that i feel special) that yoshimi is being turning into a broadway musical!!:
“The West Wing”/”Sports Night” scribe Aaron Sorkin has signed on to script the Yoshimi musical, while director/producer Des McAnuff will guide the production, according to EW.com. “When Des heard the record,” said Coyne, “he heard a lot about death and loss and the triumph of your own optimism…he had an emotional attachment to it.”
i don’t know if this is one of the pink robot yoshimi is going to battle but i sure hope it is!
And i love it! Isn’t she just the cutest!? awwww…
The last pic is just because her top is adorable! It has little skulls all over it. Her bangs are brillant!
last night, half awake/half asleep at three thirty a.m. i started wondering - whatever happened to kimmy gibbler? i had this genius (considering the time) idea of doing a post on the cast of full house and where they are now ending with a big question mark for kimmy, but alas, i’ve just discovered she has a myspace page. here’s an update on the cast anyway:
danny tanner:
danny tanner turned into a dirty comic after full house. he sometimes guest stars on tv shows and he hosts the probably-going-to-be-canceled-if-it-hasn’t-been-already gameshow, 1 vs. 100
Uncle Jesse:
uncle jesse married a model, then she divorced him. sometimes he plays drums for the beach boys. he stars in er as well as various made for tv movies. he’s also in an american ‘propel fitness water’ commercial.
uncle joey:
uncle joey was supposedly the subject of alanis morisette’s song “you oughta know”. i recognize that the photo on the right isn’t new but i liked his sweater so i decided to use it. sometimes uncle joey guest stars on tv shows but otherwise it seems like he spends most of his time doing work on shows that most people have never heard of.
d.j. tanner:
d.j. married a hockey player and they have a few children. she’s guest starred on a few shows and been in a few made for tv moves. her main focus now is her religion and her family.
stephanie tanner:
stephanie became a meth addict. she’s reformed now. she’s guest starred on a few tv shows (when her meth addiction wasn’t getting in the way) and she now hosts some tv show that i’ve never heard of.
michelle tanner:
everyone knows about the olsen twins so i’ll save you the details.
and last, but most certainly not least . . .
kimmy gibbler:
kimmy basically hasn’t done anything since full house. well, she got married, had a child and built a myspace page.
Tito Ortiz, I will never forgive you for hitting this:
I thought dear Tito just dressed tacky, but it turns out he embodies tacky completely. What the hell did Jenna-jammed-with-diease do to her face? Can the clap spread and make you look like you are caught in a very unflattering windstorm? Reverse that procedure whatever it was. Oh and that hair! What in the fugnation is that front nastiness? Like a short-long but reversed. I think it is so the boys don’t have to use her ears as blow handles anymore and can just yank on that. I know I’m mean, but she ruined Tito. Yeah, I slammed her, but who hasn’t? Burn!
Perfect for those who just couldn’t get enough of Gargamel’s Castle at Canada’s Wonderland Smurf Village (a few of you might know what I am talking about. Or not. Alas, I entertain myself). On to the post…
Unfortunate little me has to deal with the monster of all car salesmanlike Realtors right now. His transparent high pressure sales tactics practically have me gagging at the cheesiness of it all. I HATE dealing with people so full of shit in this business. Julian Bending, a British real estate agent gives me hope. He is the honest agent. The sparkling diamond amoungst all these patetic lumps of human disease that call themselves Realtors. His ads are brilliant. Check this shit:
“Some places just sing. From the fireplaces to the expensive replacement sash windows this house reverberates to it’s own special tune. If it were an instrument it would be a trumpet and be able to blow itself. Two bedrooms of C major Glory. £130,000″
“Squatting quietly in the florid backwater that was once the site of Glastonbury fayre is this four bedroom house - with it’s upright and Victorian tackle still on display. Lovely to think that such a well used instrument can still rise to the occasion and impress. £165,000″
“‘Bend over boy’. I still remember the thrill of the cane as it swiped my tender bottom and left me with the sting of correction. It did no good, I’m still smoking and probably enjoying it more. Lovely atmospheric converted school house with six bedrooms. £385,000″
“This one still reeks of a bygone age where once a week baths on a Sunday night were the norm and cheesy feet taken for granted.”
“What a rare find. As characerful as a vegitarians fart.”
“How about this. Perfect for witches, vampires and ghouls. Proper chuch house in the graveyard of St Swinging in the Belfry. The owner bought it at midnight in a storm on Halloween from a hunchback and swears it’s not at all spooky.”
“Fancy four bedroom house situated at the foot of the Mendips with the somerset levels spreading before it like a hot tart on a cold night. Fine sitting room with flagstone floor, large kitchen, shower room, bathroom and courtyard garden. Suit refined couple with an over-developed sense of their own worth and a longing to do it in the counrty.”
“Compact and bijou, would suit tidy widow who likes to hear the bray of a cow of a morning and enjoys the occasional waft of its last meal.”
| “Dangle your rod out of the bedroom window of a morning from this sweet, restored 2 bedroom detached cottage. Lovely views over the Mendip Hills. Sitting room, kitchen, bathroom, gardens with river frontage, fishing rights and a separate allotment for good measure. Last time I dangled my rod anywhere, I got more than I bargained for £128,000″ |
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If you just can’t get enough you can read a whole bunch of his genius here. While you are there check out Ralph’s Rag. So. Damn. Funny.
The battle of the blublockers you might say. Let’s start here:
I think this is some famous soccer player. Just for those heinous shades, red flag bitch!
Oh Irma, those glasses are so stimulating I might need a hip replacement when I’m done with you.
I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.
Hey dudes, do these glasses make my ass look fucking sweet or what? You’re damn right they do.
I know, I know this is total fashion blasphemy for me to call these hideous. Nevertheless, I am.
Nicole Richie? I know! How dare I? …..but they are ugly.
Yup, this is actually the picture that inspired this whole post. Those shades worn by the miss are almost as revolting as seeing these two back together. Travis, ditch the bitch. Come on now.
So sorry, another Nicole shot. I had too. Those things on her face are just plain nasty.
This I just posted to haunt your dreams. Nothing to do with sunglasses. Sorry. If you want to see more heinous shades try looking at the Kirsten Dunst pics below.
